Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
Randomize
