i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
Randomize
