Sometimes, when I pour the powdered creamer in my coffee I like to pretend it's Colombian grade cocaine.
That's the kind of morning coffee a girl could welcome the day with.
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
Randomize
