If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
Randomize
