yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
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