At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
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