Small penises have feelings too.
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night?
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
Randomize
