I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
Randomize
