You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
Randomize
