I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
I didn't notice because vodka
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
Randomize
