that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
Wedding update: no alcohol, 75% of people have left, no one is dancing, no single groomsmen, and it's 5:30. I'm going the fuck home to drink by myself.
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
Randomize
