So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
How does it feel to date your dad?
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
Randomize
