Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
Randomize
