Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
i barfeds in our rink
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Randomize
