Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
Randomize
