If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
Randomize
