Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
Barsexuality is the new black.
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
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