OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
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