This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
is this the sara with the beer cane?
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
Randomize
