i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
I think I have vodka in my lungs
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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