You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
Today's forecast: A sex tornado warning has been issued in your area. Counties affected include your bed, your shower, or your couch. This warning is in effect until further notice. Signs of a sex tornado include: your girlfriend coming up with a huge analogy to inform you that she's ungodly horny today.
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
Randomize
