We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
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