My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
I deserve this hangover.
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
