dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
My dick has a subreddit
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
Randomize
