This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
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