Where did you get a picture of my penis
why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Randomize
