it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
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