Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
Randomize
