I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
Randomize
