her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
worst night to have a conscience
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
Randomize
