Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
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