The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
You may now shotgun with the bride
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
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