New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
So it's my mom's birthday and I wanted to be super cheap and just walk up to her and say "I got you the greatest gift ever, mom! I'm actually sober right now!".
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
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