No period for spring break; use this wisely.
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
I think we might need a safe word for this...
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Randomize
