good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
Randomize
