Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
Im part way to drunk.
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
Randomize
