6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
4 words: hood of his car
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
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