office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
Current status: Finding an unwrapped portion of Subway sandwich in my purse at the pharmacy counter & picking pieces of tomato off my wallet while the pharmacist watches disdainfully.
Did you offer her some?
If only. Current status: Not that clever.
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize
