I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
Randomize
