My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
Sext me about skeletons
Randomize
