So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
I'm way too hungover for life right now
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
Randomize