OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
