so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
two words: eviction party
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
Randomize
