I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
Randomize
