your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
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