remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
Randomize
