Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Shame - the story of my life.
Randomize
