I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
Randomize
