I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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