So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
Randomize
