I*** M*****, this is your dignity texting you. I ditched you when you started hitting on bros and old sailor men last night. My friend Sarah has pictures to prove it.
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
Randomize
