Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
Randomize
