Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
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