Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
Randomize
