she woke up with a sticky ear
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
What the hell happened to my hand?
Well, you got in a fight with a cabbie while jaywalking, but we got you to walk away. The problem was 80 blocks away, when you punched a parked taxi for "running you over".
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
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