I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
The cabbie told me fat girls shouldn't wear tight clothes, and that he feels bad for the guys that have to be underneath them, especially because their positions are "very limited" and proceeded to ask me if I had a trash can and if I could throw something away for him. Don't worry though, he promised it wasn't anything "bad". He then handed me a tied up grocery bag with a bunch of wadded up Kleenex that weighed about 3 pounds. To answer your question, yes I made it home. Fml
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
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